Graduation followed by stress?! How did I make it in this mess...

Did you like how I had the little rhyming system there? It keeps me sane right now, doing goofy things to ease my unraveled stress. I just want to go back to being "me". I feel so lost, like a kid with no toys. I need God, and I know I do but where do I start? how do I change my entire being? Don't bother me with start doing this and "it'll be all fine". I need practical not ideological. I need to go back to being the happy me, the crazy level headed woman I know is dieing to get out.

 I need to be this for Caden. I need real friends, not people who are going to lie right to my face instead of being the person they should be. I'm not talking about family either.It's not about Train either. My family is my rock. I need real people in my life at work, and at home. I need to feel wanted in more than just an "acquaintance" way. So many "friends" have decided to move on and I get it, It's crazy being an hour away and low and behold every time we get a chance to move, something happened to stop us. Allen graduated and I couldn't be more happy for him, but at the same time I'm stressed about him finding a better job like ASAP. I haven't seen my husband for more than maybe 10 days this month and he's NOT in the military.We need our chance to shine. People are getting houses, and we've tried for years! When can our little family catch a break?!

You'll have to pardon my "woe is me" attitude. It's been a bad day and I'm so ready for a little girls night tomorrow with my two best friends (cousins)  to let some stress out. Heaven knows I need it. Thanks for listening...err.. reading ;-) next time I promise it won't be this gross....

I'll leave you with a photo of Train and myself. he graduated with Honors, Highest Honors and National Technical School Honor Society

Bonding time with Caden.

There are quite a few things that don't make me cry these days, especially when it comes to my baby boy. Today was a day like the rest of the school days so far, just a special day waking up the little man and readying him for the day. He gets dressed, while I make breakfast and ready his "pack bag". He eats and makes his lunch for the day. (I don't make him, he wants to. He enjoys picking it out and packing it) I really wish this time was longer! As we walked to school, he decided to tell me he has a "belly ache". I assumed the usual, just wants to sleep;-) Alas, his response made me laugh though. He wanted to play hookie so he could "just play with my Lego's". How precious is that?! He always asks for snuggles with Mom before work, so now that its school days, I'm missing out!

  Our walks are always amazing, but never long enough. I love hearing about his dream that night and what he'll do at school on our daily walks to school.  My favorite part of the day! He talks to me about what I'll do while he's at school, will I clean, will I do laundry, will I be playing with toys while he's gone? He is such a joy to my life. I love that even though it seems like my day is too short, time stands still on our way to school and on our way home. I wish I could freeze these little moments and have them always.

I love that on our way to school we talk about everything. We discuss his toys, my work, we even sneak in some learning! We'll talk about colors, shapes, sizes, numbers and everything he wants. On our way home, no matter if I'm in a hurry, or have more than enough time, its is magical. He will talk about his class that day. Its amazing what he learns in such a short period. He's learned to write his name, as well as a few other things and LOVES to share them. His favorite so far has to be reading me his daily books they make. I couldn't tell you enough how wonderful it is he LOVES to read.  He is my blessing. I've learned that we're not just talking about his day, or mine. It's a bonding time with him. Joining a bond, I almost never got a chance to have. I've learned from the past years that each day is a blessing with this little man. I love him so much. My life would have no meaning without him. I was always so afraid we wouldn't bond after missing his first 5 days of life, but this has reassured me that I am a huge part of his day. How do you bond with your babies?!

Our daily walk to school.